One of the simplest things we can do for our child(ren) is to say “I’m here for you” and let them know that you will support them no matter what. This is especially important during the uncertain times we are living in.
And when you tell them “I’m here for you,” say it with your heart. This can be a gamechanger as our children can be very sensitive and empathic so they pick up on feelings easily. When children use their internal radar by sensing feelings and energy, they are analyzing people and situations to determine if it feels safe and comfortable for them to share.
Reassure them, especially during uncertain times, that they can always come to you with their concerns or worries and you will not judge them regardless of what they do share.
One of the lessons in The Strategic C.A.L.M. Approach to Communication framework for parents is to proactively identify trigger topics that could potentially shut down a conversation, because of your reaction, so that when your child brings it up, you can have a calm demeanor when talking about it. This is a key trait in keeping the conversation going especially when our children may be stressed and bracing for a reaction from us.
One of the things our children never want to do is disappoint us and, for this reason, they may think twice before coming to us and sharing how they are feeling. I have interacted with thousands of tweens and teens and this is one of the top issues they are concerned about.
As parents, we cannot assume our children know how we are thinking and feeling. And, especially during these uncertain times, we can feel more stressed and have so much more going on in our minds, that even though we have not said anything, our thoughts and feelings show up through body language, facial expressions, and in our overall energy. This is where miscommunication or a misperception can innocently occur.
Take a moment to center yourself with a few deep breathes along with a calming hand over your heart to help you BE present before interacting you’re your children. Maintain an open, loving heart when communicating with them as they can and will feel your loving energy and it will help put them at ease.
Remember, they may be stressed or anxious, too, so this practice of having you BE grounded, centered and present as often as possible, when interacting with them, is especially important during uncertain times and can even help them feel more calm and secure.
